Love this simple encouragement from my friend Bill Search, Small Group Pastor at Southeast Christian Church and author of Simple Small Groups.

Can’t see the video? Click here.

As your life group approaches Thanksgiving, there are several things you can do to help your group survive the holidays.

Now, you might be thinking, “That sounds pretty serious!  Survive the holidays?  Isn’t that being a little dramatic?”

I think it’s not overly dramatic at all.

Why?  It’s just too easy to finish a study right before Thanksgiving and say to each other, “See you in January!”  You wouldn’t think it…but the holidays (from Thanksgiving through New Year’s) are 4 or 5 pretty precarious weeks.  In my experience, this period is second only to the summer in grouplife mortality.

4 Keys to Surviving the Holidays

There is a solution.  And it’s not to just keep meeting!  After all, people are travelling.  There are family commitments and office parties.  There is just a lot going on.  But there are four things you can do to help your group survive.  Here they are:

1. Choose the study you will do next before you break…and try to do at least 1 or 2 sessions by December 8th or so.  For example, this year Thanksgiving is on November 24th.  Assuming you don’t meet the week of Thanksgiving, you could meet the following week and that would make a big difference.  I’ve listed several options right here.
2. Plan a Christmas party for your group! Rather than breaking before Thanksgiving, why not have a potluck dinner or a Christmas dessert night?  Do an ornament exchange or a White Elephant Gift Exchange.  Whatever you do, find a fun reason to meet.
3. Figure out a way to serve together in December! Whether your group serves Thanksgiving dinner at a local homeless shelter, sings Christmas carols at a nearby retirement home, or serves as greeters or ushers for a Christmas Eve service, there is something about stepping up to do something for someone else…that brings a group together.
4. Pull out your calendars and schedule your first January meeting.  This might seem like overkill, but if you’ll all agree on the date of your first meeting in January, your group is much more likely to survive!

Want to use the communication material that accompanies the Flip This Marriage series but missed the deadline?  Here’s the basic info:

Here’s How to Order the Study for Your Group

Here’s the latest information about Love Talk: Speak Each Other’s Language Like You Never Have Before.  As I mentioned last week, this curriculum will accompany Flip This Marriage, a 4 week message series that begins on May 14-15.

Here are the key things you need to know:

• First, by reducing the required curriculum to the essentials, we’re able to reduce the cost per person to $8 for 1 copy of the Workbook (There are separate workbooks for women and men).  It also covers the cost of the 6 session Love Talk DVD.
• Second, the Workbooks for Women and Men include 20 communication exercises, some of which will be used during group sessions while others provide the practical homework assignments.
• Third, the study is based on Love Talk by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott.  Some of your group members may enjoy reading the book while participating in the study.  While it would enhance understanding of the communication principles and practices found in the study, it is not essential.  Although each of the study sessions will reference specific chapters of the book, it is not required.  We will have special pricing for those that wish to purchase a copy ($13.99).
• Fourth, session three of the DVD mentions the Love Talk Indicator (an online assessment).  Although it is not essential, it will enhance the experience of the study.  The assessment is available a couple different ways.  One code to take the online assessment is included with the purchase of the hardback.  Additional codes (each person needs their own code if they want to take the assessment), are available at RealRelationships.com at $14.95 each (If there is sufficient interest, we’ll be able to purchase blocks of 100 assessment codes at $9.95 each).

Ordering the material you need: Email Us to place your order.  Depending on what you need and when you need it, we’ll help you make arrangements.

When you’re leading your group…what are you hoping happens?  Hopefully, you’re hoping your members grow to become more like Jesus.  And hopefully, we’re becoming more like Him, too!

This becoming like Jesus goal is why we focus on application (putting into practice what the Bible teaches) as opposed to information (learning what the Bible teaches).  We put a lot of stock in James 1:22, “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.”

For that reason, I’d love you to take a moment and read an article by Rick Howerton, one of my good friends in small group ministry.  Here’s a link to his article, More to Application Than Going and Doing.

From time to time I hear from life group leaders who tell me they’re really hoping for a few more members.  Actually…finding members comes naturally to some leaders.  And some of us, just need a little help.

Here are a few ideas.  Hopefully, if you’re a group looking for members…one of these ideas (or even several of them) will make a difference!

1. Volunteer to help at the Community Life booth after one of our services.  New people come up to the booth almost every service looking for a group near them.  If you’re at the booth…you get the first chance to shine!
2. Pay attention to the people you always see at the events you are already part of.  For example, if you drop your junior high or high school student off on Tuesday or Wednesday night, why not park your car and talk with some of the other parents?  You might be surprised to find out they’re looking for a group just like yours.
3. Pay attention to the people who sit near you in the service every week.  I know it may seem a little forward, but when you see people sitting in your area that you’ve seen before, why not just asking them if they’re in a small group?
4. Volunteer to work at the Community Life booth after one of our weekend services.  There are people coming up to the booth looking for help finding a group after almost every service.Can’t guarantee that they’ll live near you, be the right gender, marital status or life stage…but at least you’ll have first shot at them.  If you’d like to sign up to be part of the team email Cyndee Barduson.
5. Schedule an occasional party, game night, or theme dinner.  Anything that you can plan ahead and then intentionally invite potential group members to attend.  It’s a great idea to insert a party at the end of a study and just before you start a new one.
6. Make sure your info in the Life Group Finder is 100% accurate and up-to-date.  Add current info when you start a new study.  Make sure the email and phone are accurate.
7. You may want to look at the groups that are meeting on the same day in your area.  A quick call might reveal that they’re looking for people too and would be open to merging.
8. You may want to consider meeting on a different day or time.  There may be a logistics issue that’s keeping other folks from joining your group.
9. Get your other members involved in helping to invite people to your group.
10. Don’t underestimate the benefit of choosing a study that will appeal to people who are new.  Your fascination with a lifelong study of the imagery and symbolism of the Book of Revelation might not appeal to unconnected people (okay…I had to put in that one).

The key here is to be proactive!  There are 2,000 to 3,000 unconnected adults at Parkview.  Some of them are just waiting to be asked!

I talk with life group leaders from time to time about how to know how a group is really doing.  Sometimes a leader will ask if they should be “getting deeper by now.”

Other times I’m told, “Our group is really kind of beyond DVD curriculum.  We’re really looking for something a little meatier.”

Something to think about:

I like what Henry Cloud and John Townsend* have to say in their book, Making Small Groups Work:

Growth requires both grace and truth…we define grace as far more than forgiveness.  It is unmerited favor.  We define truth as God’s truth, the reality that structures our lives (p. 42).

I really believe you’ll do your best work when you help members “feel God’s grace through acceptance, help, love, care, support, and forgiveness.”  You’ll help them live God’s truth through “standards, accountability, principles, reality, and honest self-assessment (p. 48).”

It’s not necessarily about deeper or meatier.  It is about grace and truth.

*You may recognize their names.  They’re the authors of the Boundaries series.

One of the most common questions asked by new group leaders is “what can we do about childcare?“  In fact, we get asked that question so frequently that we’ve even developed a special tab here on the GroupLife at Parkview blog to make it easy to find our answers!

Can I ask you a question?  How are you tackling the childcare needs in your group?  Maybe it’s one of the following:

• We ask each of our members to work it out for themselves (hire a baby sitter, etc.).
• We’ve gone in together to hire a baby sitter who comes to our meetings.
• We take turns watching the kids in another room.
• We’ve worked out an arrangement with another group in our area and we watch each others’ kids.

How are you taking care of the childcare needs in your group?  Would you mind chiming in on the comments section here?  I’m very curious how you’re doing it.  You can click here to leave a comment.

When you meet with a personal trainer one of the first things they ask you is what do you wish was different?   They may phrase it a lot of different ways, but essentially they’re asking, “Where do you see that you need to change in order to be healthy?”

What if you learned to have that same conversation with the members of your group?  Think that would be a good conversation?   Think there would be some movement in the right direction?   Me too.  Here’s how to become a spiritual trainer.

1. Recognize that before you can help your group members…you’ll have to go there first.  You don’t have to have arrived there to help your members.  Remember, Paul wrote, “I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me.  No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead,  I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us (Philippians 3:12-14 NLT).”  As you’re moving toward where you want to be you can begin to show your members the same next steps.
2. Take a look at the Purpose Driven Life Health Assessment.   This is a dynamite tool.   It’s free.  And you don’t have to be purpose driven to really get a lot out of it.  Much like an annual physical, this can be used to get a snapshot of a person’s spiritual health.  10 minutes spent answering these 25 questions will do some very important things: (a) It will give all of us a common language to describe how they’re doing spiritually, (b) it will provide a snapshot of spiritual health or balance, and (c) it will provide the basis for some very important goal-oriented thinking.
3. Once you’ve completed the Health Assessment, total up your score in each of the 5 areas.  How’d you do?  Where are you strongest?  Where are you weakest?
4. The next step is touse the results from the Health Assessment to establish spiritual growth goals using the Purpose Driven Life Health Plan.   This is huge!  The assessment is gold but the Health Plan is where the really good stuff happens.  Taking what you’ve learned on the assessment and developing goals based on their strengths and weaknesses will help you have a way of thinking about spiritual growth.  As you look at the Health Plan you’ll see that each of the 5 areas has a section for goals and some examples.   Each section also includes a key question.
5. Once you’ve learned how to use the Health Assessment and Health Plan it is very easy to take the exercise to your group. This can provide a rich source of encouragement and challenge. It will also give your members a way to talk about what is happening in their spiritual lives.
6. The health assessment can also be used by individual small groups to help choose curriculum. Simply have members total up their individual scores and then see where they want to grow as a group.

Who makes the best new members for your group?  That’s easy.  People you know and are building a relationship with who are unconnected.  Here are some ideas that will help you find new members:

• Look for people who are already doing the same things you are.  If your kids are in High School, make it a point to get to know other parents.  If your kids are younger…make it a point to meet other parents as you check them in to Kidz Connection.  Whether you’re in a bunko group, on a softball team, do scrapbooking, or regularly watch your kids’ little league games…be on the lookout for people who are already doing the same things that you are.
• If you sit in the same area at the same service every week, you’ll often begin to notice some of the same people.  Get in the habit of getting to know one or two new people every week.  In the “say hello to a few people around you” part of the service…make it a point to remember their names.  Write their name(s) down as soon as you sit down.  As the service ends tell them you’ll see them next week.
• Take a few minutes in your next meeting to talk about who your members know that would be a good fit in your group.  It’s a good idea to talk through the Circles of Life handout (click here to download a copy).  Sometimes all you need is something to jog your memory.
• Plan a social get-together (potluck, cookout, theme dinner, chili cookoff, etc.) and invite unconnected friends over.  This is a great idea to schedule on a regular basis between studies.  The perfect way to get to know a few new people.
• Volunteer to serve at What We Believe.  Think about it.  Everyone at the class is taking a next step…the perfect time to join a small group.
• Volunteer to serve as an usher or greeter.  You’ll see a lot of the same people.  Easy to be friendly and invite them to your group.
• Volunteer to serve as a Connector at the GroupLife Booth.  You’ll have first crack at the people looking for a group!  How cool is that!
• Volunteer to serve with…(see a pattern developing?  almost any volunteer opportunity will put you in contact with unconnected people).
• Make sure your group is absolutely, positively, up-to-date in our Small Group Finder.  If you haven’t completed the survey…get it done right now.  It will take you less than 5 minutes.  Click here to take it.